bookcurios Chapter 537: Eyes Wandering
Chapter 537: Eyes Wandering
These words hammered at Su Ming's heart like a hammer, nearly overwhelming him. His thoughts began to swirl, flashing through his mind: that mistake, that poor decision, that time he failed to spot a flaw in time. After each misstep, he blamed himself and sought to make amends, never deeply examining the real reasons. Zheng Yaoxian's words, like a sharp knife, pierced his deepest fears and anxieties.
"You're not afraid of the enemies outside," Zheng Yaoxian said coldly, a hint of sarcasm in his words. "You're afraid that you're not smart enough, not decisive enough. You're afraid of making mistakes, afraid that you don't have enough wisdom to deal with all the challenges."
Su Ming was shocked. He wanted to refute something, but found that he couldn't speak. His heart was churning, as if it was being washed away by a surging torrent. He suppressed his anger and finally uttered only one sentence: "You...how do you know?"
Zheng Yaoxian didn't answer. Instead, he chuckled softly, his gaze sharpening. "Because you've pondered these questions over and over again. You've repeatedly asked yourself: Would it have been better if I hadn't done this? Could I have avoided that mistake if I had been more decisive? You've never stopped to truly analyze the motivations behind your actions and decisions."
Su Ming lowered his head and pursed his lips. The oppressive feeling grew stronger, as if his inner world had been seen through. He unconsciously stroked the yellowed tabletop with his fingers, his voice so low that only he could hear it: "What should I do?"
Zheng Yaoxian looked at him quietly for a moment, then slowly spoke, "You have to start with yourself, Su Ming. You must learn to let go of your fears, let go of your doubts, and learn to truly trust your intuition. Your greatest enemy right now isn't the outside world, nor the complicated situation, but your own lack of trust in yourself. What you need isn't more information or new strategies, but a return to your original faith."
Su Ming's heart suddenly trembled, the shadow of self-doubt seemingly shattered by Zheng Yaoxian's words. Indeed, he had been searching for answers, yet he had never truly returned to his starting point. His intuition and decisiveness had once been his most powerful weapons, but now, he was trapped by invisible doubts and fears, becoming paralyzed.
"What you lack isn't more strategies." Zheng Yaoxian's tone grew calmer, as if he were describing a very simple matter. "It's confidence in your own abilities. You must learn to believe that the original you can make the right choice."
These words were like a flash of lightning, splitting the fog in Su Ming's heart. Suddenly, he felt less lost, less helpless. Zheng Yaoxian's every word seemed to peel back the invisible shackles that held him back, revealing the bravest, most determined self he had ever been.
Su Ming's mind gradually cleared, but that invisible anxiety still lingered, churning within him from time to time. Everything seemed to be falling into place, but deep within, a vague unease lingered, as if he were still bound by something invisible. Zheng Yaoxian's words seemed to have opened a window, but the wind outside was still icy and biting, and the inconsolable heaviness remained.
He gently rubbed his forehead, feeling a slight headache. Although the fog in his heart seemed to have dissipated somewhat, the urgent feeling of emptiness still hadn't been completely relieved. Perhaps the prolonged tension had caused him some physical discomfort, and his desire to relax became even stronger.
"I want to buy some bread to fill my stomach." Su Ming suddenly spoke, his voice so soft that it barely broke the silence in the room.
Zheng Yaoxian glanced at him, seemingly unprepared for such a topic. The room remained quiet, every subtle shift in the air perceptible. Zheng Yaoxian remained silent for a moment, his lips curled slightly. "Bread? You want to go out and buy some?" He gave Su Ming a slightly provocative look.
"Yeah." Su Ming nodded, stood up, and walked towards the door without hesitation. He felt like he needed a little space, a place to temporarily escape the complex emotions in his mind. His stomach had long been empty from the long period of tension, and his mind was also a little empty. Perhaps a simple meal could help him regain some energy.
However, the moment he pushed open the door, Su Ming didn't feel the relief he'd hoped. Outside lay the dimly lit streets, a gentle breeze bringing a touch of coolness. The small shops on the corners remained open, and the occasional pedestrian passed by. The moment Su Ming stepped onto the street, a wave of exhaustion washed over him, as if the weight of the entire day had settled on his shoulders. His hands unconsciously clenched into fists, his knuckles turning white.
"Are you tired?" he muttered to himself.
He slowed his pace, gradually enveloped by the silence. All noise seemed to recede from him, even the footsteps of pedestrians on the road becoming indistinct. He looked down at himself. He was wearing a simple shirt and pants, a slightly disheveled look. The collar of his clothes was slightly open, and a few beads of sweat trickled down his forehead due to the change in temperature. Su Ming involuntarily reached out to wipe them away, his eyes wandering, his thoughts gradually filled with a sense of drowsiness.
His mind raced back to the past few days, not just the pressure of work but also the suffocating feeling of confusion and unease. Like an invisible storm, it stirred up waves within him, making it hard to breathe. Every time he faced a mystery, he tried his best to find the answer, but each effort didn't seem to yield the breakthrough he'd hoped for.
He paused, peering through the lighted window of the bakery on the corner, at the neatly arranged array of breads. The air was filled with enticing aromas. The simple bread, ordinary and genuine, seemed to bring him a sense of peace of mind.
"Maybe, a little bit of simplicity can make me forget all the complexities temporarily." He murmured to himself again.
He walked into the shop, the air filled with the aroma of wheat and the sweet smell of yeast. Inside, the lights were dim. Behind the counter was a young girl in an apron, her head bent down, sorting bread on the shelves. Seeing Su Ming walk in, the girl looked up and smiled politely, "Hello, sir. What can I buy?"
Su Ming was stunned, his eyes instantly focused on the rows of freshly baked bread in the cupboard. He felt an inexplicable sense of satisfaction well up in his heart. He took a deep breath and said in a low voice, "Just give me a piece of ordinary bread."